February 26, 2011

Do You Ever Feel This Way?

Before I assumed my roles as mother, gardener, wife (and consequently, martyr) I had a desk job.  For years I was Director of Admissions at Oklahoma City University and eventually a consultant to small, private colleges around the country.  During my stint at OCU, I worked with an extremely talented and energetic woman who headed up the nationally-renowned and super successful dance program.  She was a whirling, working dervish, rarely stopping to breathe or take a well-deserved rest.  But then Christmas or spring break would roll around, imposing an intermission, if not true respite, from her daily, frantic productivity.  

I remember her once saying that, in a way, she dreaded these breaks from the routine.  Not because she didn't enjoy getting off the gerbil wheel once in a while, but because, once the rhythm of her work and days were interrupted, she had such a hard time getting back into the groove. Such a hard time re-establishing the cadence and momentum of her 'usual' life and work.

And there, in a nutshell, is where I am.  Another trip home to Indiana interrupted my daily rhythms.  Not unlike that garden design principle of creating rhythm and pattern and cohesion by repeating a design element (be it a plant or pot or tuteur) across a space, I feel unsettled, out of sorts, and, well, discumbobulated when I get home.  My patterns and habits interrupted, my rigidity mocked, my discipline to get back on track tested.




No place is this more apparent than this blog.  A week without internet access disrupts even my cyber practices, and I struggle to get back into this ongoing conversation with you, my dears.  But back I am.

So, I ask you, do you ever feel this way, my darlings?


6 comments:

  1. Who doesn't occasionally get off-kilter? I just remember that I'm not a rocket ship that can blast off into routine and resume orbit. I'm more like an old car that kinda sputters and lurches a bit to get the kinks worked out, then it is back to humming right along.

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  2. I am an old clunker for sure, Carol! Well put, my dear!

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  3. I so agree Carol. I know exactly how you feel Linda as I am structured beyond words... and fairly compulsive too. (How else could I have kept 8 kids in line... talk about organized chaos!)It's the reason I don't travel... I am convinced my world would collapse. I hope your family is well and it was not a stress-related trip.

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  4. I feel this way, too, Linda. Since blogging is something I do in my "spare time" and I have so little spare time, I feel like I get behind with blogging during particularly busy weeks. But that's why we support each other and keep each other on track. Welcome back after a bit of time away!

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  5. I don't take daily notice of a 'routine' in my waking hours. But a week's visit to my home with an old friend showed me that I'm an old stick-in-the-mud. Fun while she was here, but why did I feel so out of it when alone again? Sheesh! Snap out of it lady. And I did.

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  6. Linda, I think I clicked too soon just now. Anyway, I'm hoping that you will return to your wise and witty self soon and bring your voice back to your blog.

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